Why Every Manager Should Write a "How to Work With Me" Guide
Early on at Recharge, after joining as an Engineering Manager, I was encouraged to write a simple guide to working with me.
It wasn't meant for onboarding. It wasn't for performance reviews. It was for clarity. The goal was to be explicit about how I work, what I value, and what I find frustrating. Too often, those things go unsaid and get figured out the hard way.
We ask our teams to operate transparently: surface blockers, give feedback, own mistakes. But as managers, we owe them the same. Being straightforward matters. People shouldn't have to guess how you think, what you care about, or when you're starting to lose trust. That's how misalignment festers.
Writing a "How to Work With Me" guide has been one of the most useful things I've done as a manager in a new role. The hardest part is being honest. First with yourself, and then with your team.
When I wrote mine, I focused on the things that would actually help someone work with me: how I tend to communicate, what makes me impatient and why, when I want to be pulled in versus left out of the loop, and what I never want to be blindsided by. I wanted to surface the things that usually take months to figure out through trial and error.
I didn't use corporate buzzwords or pretend to be someone I'm not. I just wrote down what matters. My management style, for instance: I hold strong opinions but I'm weakly attached to them. I'll try to convince you of my perspective, but I'm genuinely open to being wrong. I think Disagree and Commit is a useful framework. I'm honest by default—if you ask for my thoughts, I'll be direct, even if the answer isn't popular. I believe in optimism and ownership over negativity; complaining doesn't move things forward, but solving problems does. I trust smart, motivated people instead of micromanaging them. And I think details matter—following agreed-upon patterns and being intentional with the small things isn't bureaucracy, it's clarity and care.
It's not a contract. No one's expected to memorize it. But it gives people a shortcut to understanding how to work with you effectively. More importantly, it opens the door for real conversations: "you said you prefer async communication, am I over-Slacking you?" or "you mentioned trust matters most, can I run something by you?".
The act of writing forces clarity whether you share it or not. But sharing it pays back quickly in reduced friction and faster alignment.
Some prompts that helped me: What kind of teammate do I want to be? What makes me feel energized versus drained? What do I tend to get frustrated by, and is that frustration fair or a reflection of my own expectations? How should someone bring up something hard or sensitive with me?
In a world full of unspoken expectations, this is one way to make a few of them clear.