Why Every Manager Should Write a “How to Work With Me” Guide

Early on at Recharge, after joining as an Engineering Manager, I was encouraged to write a simple guide to working with me.

It wasn’t meant for onboarding. It wasn’t for performance reviews. It was for clarity. The goal was to be explicit about how I work, what I value, and what I find frustrating. Too often, those things go unsaid and get figured out the hard way.

We ask our teams to operate transparently: surface blockers, give feedback, own mistakes. But as managers, we owe them the same. Being straightforward matters. People shouldn’t have to guess how you think, what you care about, or when you’re starting to lose trust. That’s how misalignment festers.

Writing a “How to Work With Me” guide has been one of the most useful things I’ve done as a manager in a new role. The hardest part is being honest. First with yourself, and then with your team.

Here’s what I included in mine:

• My management style in plain language
• What makes me impatient (and why)
• When and how to involve me
• Communication preferences
• The things I never want to be surprised by

For example, here’s how I described my management style:

• Strong opinions, weakly held. I’ll try to convince you of my perspective, but I’m open to being wrong. I believe in Disagree and Commit.
• Honest by default. If you ask for my thoughts, I’ll be direct, even if the answer isn’t popular.
• Optimism and ownership instead of negativity. Complaining doesn’t move things forward. Solving problems does.
• Trust over micromanagement. I want to work with smart, motivated people I trust. I don’t want to oversee every move.
• Details matter. Following agreed-upon patterns and being intentional with the small things isn’t bureaucracy. It’s clarity and care.

No corporate buzzwords. No pretending to be someone I’m not. Just the stuff that matters, said out loud.

It’s not a contract. No one’s expected to memorize it. But it gives people a shortcut. And more importantly, it opens the door for real conversations:

“You said you prefer async, am I over-Slacking you?”

“You mentioned trust matters most, can I run something by you?”

If you’re a manager and haven’t written one, I’d recommend it. Even if you never share it, the act of writing it forces clarity. But if you can get past the discomfort, sharing it is even more valuable.

A few prompts that helped me:

• What kind of teammate do I want to be?
• What makes me feel energized vs. drained?
• What do I tend to get frustrated by, and is that fair?
• How should someone bring up something hard or sensitive with me?

In a world full of unspoken expectations, this is one way to make a few of them clear.